Have you ever seen a small crack in your windshield spread over time?

Brokenness spreads when it is not addressed, mended or healed. I recently completed an all-consuming project that had taken most of my spare time. During which I failed to notice the toll and strain it had placed on my relationships and my family, but mostly my wife. What had started as a small crack in our relationship had spread across our entire marriage.

Maybe, like you, I convinced myself the crack wasn’t a big deal. I could still see through it, just like I could get by with my marriage surviving on my leftovers. It doesn’t matter if we are talking about a windshield or a marriage, if we don’t take care of the broken parts it will only continue to get worse. We will never find a way back to what is beautiful without making a change.

So I got my windshield repaired and had a conversation with my wife. We sat down and admitted we were both broken by where our marriage was at and agreed the crack had taken over to the point we couldn’t see clearly anymore. Even good things were distorted by the overwhelming shards of glass. A kind word actually hurt. A moment of laughter turned into frustration.

When your life is broken, everything you touch can cut you open.

This season of my life reminded me how beautiful it was that Jesus was broken for my brokenness. Only through Him does my life have a chance to become something beautiful again, and I needed the same change in my family. I wanted the broken parts of my marriage to be beautiful again. Jesus had a plan, and I needed one too.

So my wife and I sat down on the couch and dreamed about how beautiful our family could be. We made a plan, nothing outrageous or superficial, but simply real and honest. Both of us agreed on what we needed most from each other and crafted a plan to begin mending the broken parts of our marriage. If you’re wondering what we are doing, here is our plan to repair what we had broken:

Go to bed together every night.

There is nothing like ending every day with a kiss goodnight.

Have a date night every week.

You can do this on any size budget. Remember how nothing stopped you from being together the first month you were dating?

Pray together each morning.

We know we need to keep God at the center.

Ask each other every day,

“What is the one thing I need to know about you today?”

Did these choices instantly fix our family? No, but they did instantly make us a team again. They gave us hope for what God can do through our marriage, and these four choices will help us take what is broken and make it beautiful again.